For the second part of my Thoughts on Georgia series I will
focus on the family life. I would like
to preface this document by saying that this is my personal perception of
family life in the villages. It may be
different in other areas, but after comparing with other TLG volunteers it
seems to be the norm in the villages of Samegrelo. First I would like to talk about my family
members, then the general roles of various family members. I guess the inner anthropologist is coming
out of me after all.
I will start with my generation and work my way up to the
older generations. I have two host
brothers Giorgi and Mancho who are 28 and 27 respectively. Giorgi does not spend much time at home, as
he lives and works in Chkhorotsku. He is
a hard working guy who passes on drinking, so that he can do work later. This does not seem to be the norm for people
this age in my village. They usually
just combine the drinking with working.
Mancho is a truly unique character.
He still lives in the household and is the schools gym teacher. I have never seen him run a gym class,
usually he stands outside smoking cigarettes while the kids run around the
school yard. He is friendly, and likes
repeating a few one-liners around the house.
He recently got married, but I have not seen him since. They are supposed to come home to move in,
but it true Georgian fashion I have not been told a timeline of events. When I meet Sohpo his wife, I will edit this
to include her.
Now to the parents generation. My host dad, Shaloa, is the patriarch of the
family. He seems to have the most say
about how things should be run, even if he is not doing the majority of the
work. He is a large man who likes to go
out and socialize with the other men of the village. Shaloa is a nice man who looks out for me
like a son. It has been great to be
invited into the family by him. Though
there is a large language barrier we usually are able to convey our needs to
each other. He does not seem to converse
much with the family unless it is about what needs to be done. It could be the language barrier, but it
seems to me that there is very little small talk throughout the family.
Manana, my host mom is an absolute champ. She does by far the most work in the family
and really looks out for me. She is the
one who does all the cooking, cleaning, care of the animals, and any work
around the house. She takes a lot of
pride in how her house is presented and it really is her castle. Her personality is quite different form her
work ethic. She tends to be quiet and
shy away from most of the action. She
will sit in the kitchen or on the bench in the corner while others are
eating. In general she does not join the
table unless everyone else in done eating.
I have just been able to have her sit down and have tea in the evenings
with me at the table. She serves
everyone and does not let any plate go empty.
I have been trying to talk to her more, but she usually just shies away
and goes back to whatever work she was doing.
My houst aunt, Lyra, is the most talkative of all of my
parents generation. She is a large
diabetic Georgian lady who cares for me.
When I have any little need she is right there for me. She is also a champion. We listen to music together and watch tv
shows. I have found out that she really
seems to like listening to Matisyahu and K’naan. That’s fine we can rock out to reggae
together. She does not do as much work
as Mana, and sticks to doing more of the house work such as washing clothes and
dishes. I feel that this is partly
because she is not in shape and physically can not do the work. She is a great lady and constantly making
jokes with me. Of all the people in my
family she is the easiest to communicate, and is always up for acting things
out with me.
Now its to the last member of the family, my babia
(grandma). Talico is a sour old Georgian
lady who seems to be constantly grumbling.
She goes around and still does farm work, even though she looks like she
is ready to keel over. It seems that I
can never do enough to impress her and she is not a fan of having a foreign boy
living with her family. I am determined
to win her over, and while my host dad is sleeping off his afternoon drinking I
have been chopping wood. She seems to
like this because something as important as the heating seems to be neglected
by Shaloa. She is the strictest with
gender rolls and refuses to sit at the table with me, even if there is nothing
being served. She eats in the kitchen
when it is just the family eating.
Recently guests have been coming over to congratulate the family on
Mancho getting married, so she has been eating with the guests. This is partly because they are toasting to
her and her family. She takes extreme
pride in how our family is perceived, and wants us to put out a good
image. The shenanagince that my host
dad, brother, and I may get in does not seem to impress her, and I see the
wheels in her head spinning thinking about how we could be doing something
productive.
In general it seems that men and women exist in different
social circles. Men tend to spend their
time talking and doing various labor tasks including picking corn, fixing the
house, and making wine. Women are
expected to take care of the household and make sure that things are in
order. This means all the cooking, cleaning,
raising of children, as well as other farm chores. The women defiantly work a lot harder than
the men, and if it wasn’t for my host mom I don’t know where my family would
be. In public women and men do not tend
to interact other than general courtesies.
Eating provides another interesting look at social
interactions. The women will feed the
men at the table, while remaining in the kitchen to eat. That means lots of running back and forth to
make sure that everything is full (plates and wine pitchers). They do not sit down at the table while the
men are eating, and will only join the table after everything is done. It has been very interesting living here,
because it is so radically different than the US. The stratified society between the women and
the men is defiantly the norm here in Georgia.
It is not as prevalent in the cities as the village, but it is clearly visible. Hopefully as Georgia continues to westernize
they will continue to modify their social roles. It appears though that this is very far
off.
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